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As he continues to extol the business potential of social media to me, a social media editor, he suddenly gets up from his side of the table and plops down next to me. He asks how tall I am and it leads to a conversation on average heights in America.“Do you know the average penis size? “It doesn’t matter to me if Obama is president or Trump is president,” he declares.

I decline his subsequent invitation to go to another “dancing bar” a couple blocks away. It can get get so, so much worse."Over a week later, he messages me and I pull my first ghost.

I found the most catfish-y profiles on Tinder, including one guy who lied about his age and confessed he was "old enough" to be my father.

I used Tinder Gold, which allows you to see every person that's swiped right on you in a big scroll-down list, so you can pick and choose who you'd like to match with.

I meet Omar at a wine bar near my office after work. Hinge profiles have a good balance of photos versus personality, making it the most relationship-oriented app.

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We have a perfectly pleasant date with lots of wine, but no sparks or memorable conversation. "Did I tell you I used to have all my dating apps in a folder called Hell? Before my date with Kevin, I attend my friend's party where I have two drinks.Dating pools are smaller, since not everyone can join.I also found matches are a lot less likely to message you, and I question if it’s because there’s something inherently snobby about elite dating apps.Damien has a "keep it 100" mentality, offering sage wisdom such as, "Money can't buy happiness." He's a designer at a popular clothing company and asks a lot of questions about my job. Our conversation beyond work is awkward and difficult and I find myself scrambling for topics to think of.I answer, but he continues to press on the subject. Instead of taking his turn to ask a question, he just stares at me with a small smile on his face. "We had a lot of good conversation."Two days pass before I hear from Damien again.

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